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Joke Types
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Why was the redundant train always on time? Because it had too many tracks to follow!
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Why was the thesaurus feeling redundant? It couldn't find a word for its own job.
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Why did the grammar teacher get a redundancy notice? Because he repeated himself too often!
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Why did the redundant book become a bestseller? It had too many chapters of the same story.
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Why did the scarecrow get a redundancy notice? Because he was outstanding in his field!
The Microwave Conundrum
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You ever notice that the microwave always has that message at the end that says, Enjoy your meal? It's like, Thanks, microwave, for the culinary expertise. I didn't realize I needed a Michelin-star chef to heat up my leftovers. I want a microwave that gives real advice, like, Enjoy your meal, and maybe consider a salad next time.
Warning Labels Gone Wild
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I bought a hairdryer the other day, and on the warning label, it said, Do not use while sleeping. Seriously? Who dries their hair in their sleep? Are there secret sleep-stylers I'm not aware of? I guess I should add do not use as a microphone during karaoke to my list of life advice.
Job Descriptions: The Redundancy Edition
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I was reading job descriptions the other day, and they're like, Looking for a self-motivated individual with initiative. Well, if you're not self-motivated, why would you even apply? It's like they're saying, We need someone who can breathe oxygen, preferably through the nose.
Password Madness
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Passwords these days are getting out of hand. They're like, Must contain at least one uppercase letter, one lowercase letter, a number, a symbol, and the name of your first pet's favorite color. I feel like I need a secret decoder ring just to access my Netflix account. By the time I remember my password, the technology it's supposed to protect has probably become obsolete.
The Elevator Announcement Dilemma
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I was in an elevator the other day, and it kept announcing every floor like it's a surprise party. Third floor: Ta-da! I'm just standing there like, Yeah, I know, I pressed the button. Maybe elevators should have a sarcasm setting: Ground floor, in case you forgot where you live.
Meeting Memos: A Redundancy Symphony
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I attended a meeting, and they handed out memos about the agenda. The first point was, Discuss the agenda. I'm like, We're already doing that! Can we add a point about not wasting paper on obvious statements? It's like sending an email to schedule a meeting to discuss scheduling more meetings. Classic redundancy at its finest.
The Redundancy Chronicles
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You ever notice how redundant things are becoming? I mean, it's like déjà vu, but with extra steps. I bought a thesaurus the other day, and guess what I found inside? Another thesaurus! Now, that's what I call redundancy. It's like buying a GPS that guides you to the manual on how to use the GPS.
Automated Customer Service Madness
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Have you ever called customer service and got stuck in that automated loop? Press 1 for English, press 2 to lose your mind. It's so redundant; they ask you to enter your account number, and then the first thing the human representative says is, Can I have your account number, please? I'm like, Didn't I just give that to your robot friend? Is this a pop quiz?
Traffic Signs: The Obvious Edition
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Traffic signs these days are getting a bit too literal. I saw one that said, Caution: Water on Road during Rain. Well, no kidding! I thought it was water on the road during a drought. Thanks for the heads-up. Next, they'll warn us about Fire on Stove when Cooking.
Error Messages: The Digital Eye-Roll
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I love those error messages on computers that say, An unexpected error occurred. Well, if it's unexpected, isn't that the definition of an error? It's like the computer is rolling its digital eyes at you, going, Can't believe you tried to do that.
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