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The other day I saw a sign that said, "No pets allowed except service animals." So, if my cat starts fetching my slippers, can I bring her along? I mean, she's providing a vital service - increasing my cuteness levels.
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I was shopping the other day, and I saw a sign that said "Open 24/7." Well, unless that store is secretly a time machine, I think they might be overselling their availability a bit.
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You ever notice how escalators have those signs that say "Caution: Moving Stairs"? Like, thanks for the heads up! I thought I was stepping onto a stationary escalator just for the thrill of it.
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Why do we have "standby" buttons on appliances? Like, what are we standing by for? Just turn on, or don't. No need to keep us on the edge of our seats, toaster.
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I was at a self-checkout the other day, and the machine said, "Place the item in the bagging area." I'm like, "Of course, that's the plan! I'm not redecorating my living room with canned soup.
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Have you ever looked at the TV remote and thought, "Why do we even call it a remote?" It's not like we're operating it from a different continent. More like a 'within arm's reach' control.
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Have you ever received an email that says, "Please do not reply to this email"? Well, now I want to reply just to rebel against the system. I'm a wild one, can't be held down by email restrictions.
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Why do we call it a "sleeping bag"? It's not like you're hauling it around the city, setting up camp wherever you feel like taking a nap. That would be an entirely different urban lifestyle.
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I noticed that on elevators, there's a button for the door close. But honestly, if you press that button, it feels like you've just declared war on everyone waiting to get in. It's the ultimate silent battle.
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