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Why did the pregnant tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the pregnant grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice!
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Why did the pregnant comedian become a baker? Because she kneaded a change of delivery!
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I thought about making a pregnancy joke. But I didn't want to labor over it.
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Why did the pregnant computer break up with its keyboard? It couldn't handle the space bar!
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Why did the pregnant lady bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house!
Pregnancy: The Only Time Eating for Two Doesn't Mean Pizza for Breakfast
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They say pregnancy is not okay, but I've never seen someone so concerned about portion control. Suddenly, it's all about balanced diets and superfoods. I'm over here thinking, Can't we compromise and call ice cream a superfood for the soul?
The Diaper Dilemma: When Your Trash Becomes a Biohazard Zone
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They say pregnancy is not okay, but have you ever thought about the environmental impact of all those diapers? It's like every baby is a tiny superhero with the power to turn the trash can into a hazardous waste zone. Fear not, citizens, Captain Diaper Change is here!
Morning Sickness: Because Who Needs a Peaceful Sunrise?
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They say pregnancy is not okay, especially when it comes with morning sickness. It's like your body is preparing you for the sleepless nights ahead by making sure you're already wide awake at the crack of dawn, embracing the toilet bowl as your new best friend.
Ultrasound Pictures: The Original Selfies
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So, apparently, pregnancy is not okay. But have you seen these ultrasound pictures? It's like the baby is already practicing for Instagram. Next thing you know, we'll have ultrasound influencers – Today, I'm showcasing my little one's cute liver development. #Blessed.
Bun in the Oven, but Who Forgot to Set the Timer?
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You know, they say pregnancy is not okay, but come on, isn't it the ultimate nine-month countdown? It's like a suspenseful cooking show where the main ingredient is patience, and every kick is a gentle reminder that someone in there is still figuring out the recipe.
Parenting Advice: Because Everyone Else Knows Your Kid Better Than You
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So, pregnancy is not okay – we've established that. But what really grinds my gears is the unsolicited parenting advice. It's like, Yes, Karen, I appreciate your expertise, but last time I checked, you weren't there during conception class.
Baby Showers: Where Gifts Outnumber the Actual Attendees
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They say pregnancy is not okay, but have you been to a baby shower lately? It's like the gift registry is longer than the guest list. I half-expect them to start asking for contributions to the college fund before the baby even learns to walk.
Labor Pains: The Original CrossFit
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Pregnancy is not okay, they claim, but have you heard about labor pains? It's the only workout where the endorphins aren't enough to make you forget the pain. And don't get me started on the screaming – it's like a high-intensity interval training class, but with less applause.
Pregnancy Announcements: Because 'Guess What?' Was Too Vague
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Pregnancy is not okay, they say. Well, tell that to the people who turn the simple act of telling someone they're expecting into a Broadway production. Lights, camera, morning sickness – it's the surprise reveal of the year!
Cravings or Conspiracy: The Unanswered Question
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Pregnancy is apparently not okay, but can we talk about the sudden and specific cravings? Pickles and ice cream, anyone? I'm convinced there's a secret committee orchestrating these culinary oddities, just to keep the expecting parents on their toes – or waddle.
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