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Pregnancy announcements are like movie trailers for real life. There's suspense, drama, and sometimes a surprise twist ending. "Coming soon to a delivery room near you!
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Pregnancy cravings are something else. My friend's wife is craving pickles and ice cream. I asked him if he's ready for parenthood, and he said, "Well, I've mastered the art of the midnight snack run.
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The baby bump is like a VIP pass for public transportation. Suddenly, strangers are offering you their seats and making way like you're royalty. I tried it without the bump once, and let's just say I got a few confused looks.
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I was at the store the other day, and I saw a whole aisle dedicated to pregnancy tests. I thought, "Is this where they keep the 'You're in for a life-changing event' section?" They even have options for those who want the deluxe edition with three tests in one pack.
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You ever notice how pregnancy is the only time it's socially acceptable to ask someone, "Are you expecting?" Try doing that at the office when your colleague is just grabbing a snack. "Oh, you're expecting a sandwich? Twins, perhaps?
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Pregnancy must be the only time when people are genuinely excited to gain weight. "Oh, look at me, I'm getting bigger!" Try saying that at the gym, and see how many high-fives you get.
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Baby showers are like a rite of passage for adults. You sit in a room surrounded by pastel-colored gifts, playing games like you're back in kindergarten. "Guess the baby food flavor" is just as challenging as it sounds. "Is this pureed peas or an avant-garde green smoothie?
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You know you're in a different stage of life when your idea of a wild night out is binge-watching baby name videos on the internet. "Honey, what about 'Avocado' for a girl?
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Ultrasound pictures are fascinating. It's the only time people gather around to admire something that looks like a blurry, alien selfie. "Look at those tiny hands! Or are those feet? Oh, who knows!
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Pregnancy advice is everywhere. Everyone's an expert. "Eat this, don't eat that, stand this way, sleep that way." I'm just waiting for someone to suggest a playlist for the unborn child – "Mozart for brain development, or maybe some Beyoncé for those dance moves in the womb.
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