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Why did the ghost become a baseball coach? He had a supernatural ability to pitch perfect games!
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Why did the pitcher bring a pencil to the game? In case he needed to draw a foul!
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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine and pitched a fit!
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I told my computer I wanted to be a great pitcher. Now it keeps showing me pictures of water jugs!
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Why did the pitcher go to therapy? He had too many issues with his delivery!
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Why did the baseball team bring a ladder to the game? Because they wanted to get to the next level of pitching!
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What do you call it when you throw a pencil into a pitching machine? A sketchy situation!
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Why did the tomato turn red during the baseball game? Because it saw the salad dressing getting ready to pitch!
Pitch Perfect
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My friend said he has the perfect pitch for a movie. It's about a stand-up comedian who takes on the corporate world with nothing but dad jokes and a PowerPoint presentation. The working title? Punchline: The Office Edition.
Pitching Desserts
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I tried pitching my dessert idea to a bakery. Imagine a cupcake, but it's also a stress ball. You squeeze it when you're overwhelmed, and sprinkles pop out. The baker just stared at me and said, Kid, we're in the business of making cakes, not therapy tools.
Elevator Pitches
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I love elevator pitches. They're like speed dating for business ideas. But why is it that the guy with the most elaborate pitch is always the one who presses all the buttons before getting off on the first floor? And as we ascend, my friends, imagine a world where every stapler is a motivational life coach...
The Ultimate Pitch
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You ever notice how everyone thinks they're a master of the perfect pitch? My friend tried to sell me on his business idea the other day. He said, It's a combination of Uber, Tinder, and a dog-walking service. I told him, So, basically, it's an app that matches you with someone who walks your dog, and if the dog likes them, you go on a date together. I call it 'Barkr.' It's like a romantic comedy, but for dogs.
Pitching to Toddlers
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Trying to explain complex ideas to toddlers is like giving a pitch to stone-faced investors. Okay, listen up, kids. We're going to revolutionize nap time with a blanket fort that doubles as a snack dispenser. Who's in?
Dating Pitch
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Dating is a lot like pitching a business idea. You have to highlight your strengths and downplay your weaknesses. My dating profile just says, I have excellent communication skills, as long as it's through memes.
Shark Tank Nightmares
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I was watching Shark Tank the other night. This guy comes in with a pitch for a combination umbrella and toaster. Mr. Wonderful looks at him dead in the eye and says, I'm out. I don't want my breakfast served with a side of rain. Well, there goes my dream of having a perfectly toasted bagel during a monsoon.
The Pitch Whisperer
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I met a guy who claimed to be the pitch whisperer. He said, I can make any idea irresistible. So, I handed him my grocery list and said, Sell me on why I need avocados. Thirty minutes later, I was convinced I was about to miss out on the avocado revolution. Spoiler alert: I bought the avocados.
Pitching to Aliens
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If aliens ever visit Earth, we're going to have to pitch humanity to them. So, we have this thing called pizza, and Netflix, and dogs that can balance treats on their noses. Oh, and sometimes we send billionaires into space just for fun. Interested? Good luck with that intergalactic TED Talk.
Pitches in a Parallel Universe
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In a parallel universe, instead of baseball, they play a sport called pitch. Picture this: a room full of investors, each with a glove, waiting for entrepreneurs to throw their business proposals. If they drop it, they're out. And if someone catches a pitch with one hand, automatic funding!
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