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You ever notice how people today are obsessed with filters on their photos? I mean, back in the day, Picasso was the OG filter app. Seriously, if he were alive today, he'd be a billionaire just selling his presets. Can you imagine if Picasso had an Instagram account? You'd see a picture of his morning coffee, but the cup would be all abstract and melting. #CoffeeArt, right? And his selfies, oh boy. Half of his face would be blue, the other half red, and he'd caption it, "Feeling a little conflicted today, lol."
And don't get me started on his food pics. A plate of spaghetti would look like a tangled mess, but people would be commenting like, "Wow, so avant-garde, is that a commentary on the chaos of life?" No, Susan, it's just dinner.
Picasso would be the guy who invented the filter, but instead of choosing between "Lark" or "Valencia," you'd be deciding between "Cubism" or "Blue Period.
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Can we talk about emojis for a moment? I feel like if Picasso were alive today, he'd be the lead designer at the Emoji Factory. Just imagine the chaos. Instead of a simple smiley face, you'd have one eye looking left, the other looking right, and a mouth doing a somersault. And the eggplant emoji? Picasso would turn that into a masterpiece. It'd be like a surreal representation of fertility, with roots growing out of it and maybe a little bird perched on top, symbolizing... I don't know, pollination?
And the poop emoji, forget about it. Picasso would turn that into a philosophical statement about the impermanence of life. People would send it with a deep caption like, "In the grand tapestry of existence, we are but fleeting moments."
I can't wait for the day we have Picasso emojis. "Hey, how are you feeling today?" Instead of a sad face, you send a Picasso-esque portrayal of existential dread.
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You know, Picasso's art is a great way to mess with your friends. Just casually display a Picasso print in your living room and wait for the reactions. Friends come over, and suddenly they're art critics trying to decipher the hidden meaning behind the asymmetrical faces and distorted bodies. "Oh, I see what the artist is trying to convey here. It's a metaphor for the fragmented nature of human relationships." No, Dave, it's just a bunch of wonky-looking people.
And if you really want to mess with them, throw in a Picasso quote. Like, "Art is the lie that enables us to realize the truth." Watch as your friends nod their heads like, "Wow, deep." Meanwhile, you're thinking, "I have no idea what that means, but it sounds profound."
It's like having a secret code with other Picasso enthusiasts. You meet someone who gets it, and you just exchange a knowing look like, "We're in the 'I don't understand Picasso, but I pretend I do' club.
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You know, Picasso would have been a terrible relationship coach. Can you imagine him giving dating advice? "When pursuing love, my friends, always approach it from multiple perspectives. Date someone for their analytical side, then switch to their emotional side. It keeps things interesting." And his breakup advice would be a masterpiece of confusion. "Breakups are like art, my dear. Painful yet necessary. Just remember, when one door closes, another one opens. Or sometimes it's a window. Could be a trapdoor; life is full of surprises."
Can you picture Picasso on a dating app? His profile pic would be a cubist version of himself, and his bio would read, "Seeking a muse for my ever-evolving emotional landscape. Must appreciate the beauty in chaos."
I can see it now, couples going to Picasso-themed relationship counseling, trying to decipher the hidden meanings in their arguments. "No, honey, I'm not angry; I'm just expressing my frustration through the medium of abstract emotion.
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