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I've noticed that my dog judges me every time I let one rip. He gives me this look, like, "Really? In front of the guy who sniffs butts for a living?
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Ever notice how you can be a virtuoso on the piano, but the moment you accidentally let one slip during a performance, that becomes your defining moment?
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You ever cough to cover up a poorly timed fart? It's like your body's backup plan – "Abort mission! Activate the distraction!
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I recently discovered that my car has this amazing feature called "automatic windows." Not to let in fresh air, but to discreetly ventilate after a drive-thru meal.
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I was at a yoga class, trying to channel my inner zen when someone decided to break wind during the relaxation phase. Well, there goes my quest for inner peace.
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Passing gas is a lot like a surprise guest. It comes uninvited, lingers around awkwardly, and leaves a lasting impression whether you like it or not.
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I think elevators were invented to mask the subtle sounds of passing gas. It's the only time where awkward silence is genuinely appreciated.
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I've come to realize that the sound of a squeaky chair is just nature's way of saying, "I can't believe you tried to hold that one in during the meeting.
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You ever try to silently let one out in a crowded room, and then you realize it's not silent at all? It's like trying to sneak a ninja into a room, and he starts playing the accordion.
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