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I'm writing a book on hurricanes and tornadoes. It's a whirlwind of emotions.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
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I'm writing a book on hurricanes and tornadoes. It's a whirlwind of emotions.
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I once went on a camping trip with friends. They asked if I wanted to go for a midnight hike. I declined because my idea of a midnight adventure involves sneaking to the kitchen for a snack without waking anyone up.
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I tried camping once. Turns out, I'm not a fan of sleeping on the ground. I need a mattress thicker than my last three failed relationships combined.
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I tried to embrace nature by planting a garden. Let's just say, my plants are the only things thriving in the relationship. It's like they're mocking me with their photosynthesis success.
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They say there's nothing like the tranquility of the great outdoors. Clearly, they've never heard my neighbor's lawnmower at 7 am on a Saturday. It's like waking up to the sounds of a suburban jungle.
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Camping is just a socially acceptable way of eating marshmallows for dinner. 'Oh, I'm just surviving in the wilderness,' I say as I roast my marshmallow over a carefully controlled flame from a butane torch.
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People who love outdoor activities have this glow about them. Meanwhile, I'm over here with my indoor glow, thanks to the warm embrace of my computer screen. I'm practically radiating from all the Netflix binging.
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I don't understand people who go hiking voluntarily. My idea of a strenuous walk is from the couch to the fridge during a commercial break. And yes, that's my cardio for the day.
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You know you're not an outdoorsy person when your idea of a wild adventure is trying a new delivery place. I'm like an explorer of different cuisines from the comfort of my own couch.
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The Great Outdoors, or as I like to call it, nature's way of reminding me I should have stayed inside. I mean, who needs fresh air when you have air conditioning, am I right?
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