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You ever notice how Joel Osteen's smile is so bright, it's like he's auditioning to be the sun in the next solar system? I mean, does he have a secret stash of happiness hidden somewhere that the rest of us don't know about?
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I asked myself, "What would Joel Osteen do?" before facing a tough day. Turns out, the answer is not, "Watch Netflix in pajamas." Who knew positive thinking required putting on real pants?
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Joel Osteen talks about the power of positive thinking, but I'm convinced he has a secret army of motivational unicorns hiding in his backyard. I mean, where else does he get all that good energy?
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I was flipping through channels the other day and stumbled upon Joel Osteen's sermons. I thought, "This guy must be onto something." I mean, if positivity were a sport, he'd be the undefeated champion. I can barely stay positive during rush hour traffic!
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Joel Osteen's optimism is so unwavering; I'm starting to think he could find the silver lining in a black hole. "Well, folks, at least it's a deep, peaceful void with great vacuum acoustics!
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Have you ever noticed how Joel Osteen's hair is always perfect, like he just stepped out of a shampoo commercial? Meanwhile, I'm over here wondering if my hair has a personal vendetta against me every morning.
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Have you ever tried watching Joel Osteen's sermons while on the treadmill? It's like attempting to run a marathon of happiness. Spoiler alert: I usually end up out of breath and needing a snack break instead.
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Joel Osteen's messages are so uplifting; I tried incorporating his positivity into my morning routine. Now, instead of hitting the snooze button, I wake up and declare, "Today is the day I conquer the world!" But most days, I just end up conquering a bowl of cereal.
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I saw Joel Osteen on a billboard the other day, and I thought, "If his face were on currency, we'd all be rich!" Imagine paying for groceries with a twenty-dollar bill featuring Joel's radiant smile – talk about a mood-boosting transaction!
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