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The Ambitious Orchard Detective
Solving the mystery of disappearing apples
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I confronted the squirrels, and they had the nerve to offer me a bag of acorns as a peace offering. Acorns! Do I look like a woodland creature to you? I wanted justice, not nuts!
The Sassy Orchard Bartender
Mixing cocktails with orchard fruits
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Someone ordered a pineapple cocktail. I had to break the news that pineapples don't grow on trees. They were disappointed until I handed them a pineapple and said, "Go stand over there. Technically, now it's an orchard.
The Unimpressed Orchard Critic
Critiquing the lack of drama in orchard life
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I suggested they start a talent show for the fruits. I mean, who wouldn't want to see a singing apple or a dancing orange? The farmer said, "They're fruits, not contestants on 'Orchard's Got Talent.'
The Overzealous Orchard Owner
Dealing with overly ambitious fruit trees
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I tried to have a heart-to-heart with my apple tree. I said, "Listen, it's not about the quantity; it's about the quality." The tree looked at me and dropped a dozen apples on my head. Apparently, it disagreed.
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