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Why did the omnipotent computer go to therapy? It had too many control issues!
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Why did the omnipotent pilot never lose direction? Because they always had an 'altitude' adjustment!
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Why did the omnipotent baker always make perfect bread? Because they kneaded no assistance!
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Why did the omnipotent tailor refuse to fight? Because they knew how to 'alter' the situation!
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Why was the omnipotent artist always happy? Because they could draw joy from anywhere!
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Why was the omnipotent detective never invited to hide-and-seek games? Because they'd always find everyone in no time!
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Why was the omnipotent banker so successful? Because they always had unlimited 'interest'!
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Why did the omnipotent dictionary win every argument? Because it had the last word!
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Do you know why the omnipotent ruler was so good at hide-and-seek? Because no matter where they hid, they always found themselves!
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I was thinking, if I were omnipotent, I'd probably spend my time making avocados ripen exactly when I need them. Forget world peace; let's focus on preventing guacamole disappointments!
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I found out the universe is omnipotent. It knows when you're trying to sneakily open a bag of chips at 2 AM. Suddenly, the creaky floorboards become cosmic informants, and the universe judges you with every crinkle!
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If I were omnipotent, I'd spice up the weather reports. 'Tomorrow's forecast: Sunny with a chance of intergalactic dance parties. Pack your disco balls, folks!'
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Imagine having an omnipotent GPS. 'In 500 feet, turn left... unless you change your mind. Actually, let me know, and I'll reroute the whole journey for you. No pressure.'
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So I heard about this omnipotent being who knows everything. I thought, 'Great, now I don't even have privacy in my own imagination. It's like having a cosmic roommate who leaves passive-aggressive notes on the fridge!'
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I heard being omnipotent is exhausting because you have to deal with everyone's wishes. If I were omnipotent, my response would be, 'Sorry, the universe is currently experiencing a high volume of requests. Please hold, and your miracle will be answered in the order it was received.'
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I asked my friend, 'If you were omnipotent, what would you do?' He said, 'I'd make Mondays optional.' I thought, 'That's cute. If I were omnipotent, I'd make calories optional. Let's tackle the real issues!'
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You know, I wish I had an omnipotent friend. Someone who could predict my problems before they happen. 'Hey, buddy, don't eat that third slice of pizza, trust me, your waistline will thank me later.' That would be real divine intervention!
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Being omnipotent must be tough. I mean, you know who's going to win the lottery, but you can't play. It's like being the ultimate spoiler, but for your own life!
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