10 Older Brother Jokes

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Jul 01 2024

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You ever play video games with your older brother? It's less of a game and more of an intense training session where he crushes your self-esteem along with your virtual character.
Ever borrow something from your older brother? It's like engaging in a diplomatic negotiation. "Can I borrow your hoodie?" turns into a 20-minute debate about the terms and conditions, including a signed agreement and collateral.
My older brother thinks he's a fashion guru. He walks into my room, looks at my outfit, and goes, "You're not going out like that, are you?" Dude, it's called "athleisure," not "I've given up on life chic.
Older brothers love to remind you of your embarrassing moments. "Hey, remember that time you tried to impress your crush and tripped over your own shoelaces?" Yeah, thanks for the reminder, Captain Bring-it-up-at-every-family-gathering.
Older brothers have this superhero ability to sense when you're about to eat the last piece of pizza. It's like they have a pizza radar or something. You grab that last slice, and suddenly they appear like, "You gonna finish that?
Older brothers and technology don't always mix. They act like the pioneers of the digital age, but when you hand them a smartphone, it's like watching a caveman discovering fire. "How do you make the emojis appear? Do I need to sacrifice a goat or something?
They're always the first to criticize your driving skills. My older brother sits in the passenger seat, gripping the door handle like we're in a car chase scene from a movie. Dude, we're going to the grocery store, not auditioning for Fast and Furious.
You ever notice how older brothers give advice? It's like they're reading from the ancient scrolls of wisdom, and you're just trying to figure out how to microwave popcorn without burning the house down.
They love giving unsolicited life advice. "You know, when I was your age..." Yeah, because ancient wisdom like using a payphone and waiting for dial-up internet is really relevant in the modern era.
Older brothers have a PhD in sarcasm. You ask a simple question, and they respond with a sarcastic comment that requires a decoder ring to understand. "Nice weather we're having," you say. "Oh yeah, I was really hoping for a torrential downpour," they reply.

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