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You ever notice how office colleagues become experts at the art of passive-aggressive notes? I found one on the communal fridge that said, "Whoever stole my yogurt, may your Wi-Fi always be weak." I didn't know my yogurt thief was also a technomancer.
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There's always that one colleague who treats the office kitchen like their personal restaurant. I saw a guy today with a full-on meal prep station, complete with a mini grill. I half-expected him to start taking reservations.
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Office birthdays are a strange phenomenon. It's the one day a year where everyone suddenly becomes a dessert expert. "Oh, you're on a diet? Well, it's just a small slice of cake. Calories don't count on birthdays. It's a scientific fact.
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The office thermostat is a constant battleground. It's like we're in the middle of a temperature war, with one side wanting to turn it into a sauna and the other side dreaming of an Arctic expedition. Can't we all just agree on a temperature that doesn't require layering like an onion?
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Have you ever tried to discreetly eat a snack at your desk, and the entire office suddenly becomes eerily quiet? It's like they have a sixth sense for the rustling of a candy wrapper. I swear, it's the office version of the Bat-Signal.
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You know you've been working in the same place for too long when you start celebrating the small victories, like finding a working stapler. It's like discovering a unicorn in the wild. "Behold, the majestic stapler, last seen in the mythical land of Stationery.
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You ever send an email to your colleague, and they reply with, "As per my previous email..." It's code for "Did you even read what I wrote, or did you just randomly mash your keyboard and hit send?" I should start replying with, "As per my telepathic message...
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Have you ever noticed that office meetings are a lot like UFO sightings? Everyone talks about them, but no one can prove they actually happened. "Oh, you had a meeting? I thought that was just a collective hallucination we all shared.
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The office elevator is the social epicenter of awkward encounters. You're either stuck in silence with a colleague from another department or doing that weird dance when you both try to let the other person exit first. It's like a game of elevator chicken, and no one wants to be the first to flinch.
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Office coffee machines are like the unsung heroes of the workplace. They have this magical ability to turn bitter mornings into bearable ones. I'm convinced that the real boss in our office is the one who controls the coffee supply. Forget about the CEO; I want to meet the Coffee Overlord.
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