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The Tech-Challenged Colleague
Grappling with technology
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I tried explaining the concept of a webinar to this colleague. They looked at me with genuine confusion and asked if a webinar is a new type of spider. Now, every time they see a spider, they probably think it's logging into a virtual meeting.
The Overenthusiastic Intern
Trying too hard to impress the boss
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I overheard the intern talking to the boss about "thinking outside the box." Now, every time I open my lunch, I half-expect to find a sandwich in the shape of a dodecahedron.
The Office Gossip
Knowing too much about everyone's personal lives
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I've started playing mind games with the office gossip. I leave fake notes on my desk, like "Meeting with the President at 3 PM." Now, she thinks I'm running the country between filing reports.
The Office Zen Master
Maintaining calm in a chaotic work environment
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This person is so calm that I once saw them meditating in the middle of a heated office argument. I tried it too, but all I got was a reputation for sleeping through important meetings. Apparently, meditating and napping are not the same thing.
The Office Fitness Guru
Promoting a healthy lifestyle amidst sedentary office jobs
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The office fitness guru tried to organize a company-wide yoga session during the lunch break. Let's just say, seeing your boss attempt a downward dog is an experience you can't unsee. We've renamed it the "Upside Down Manager" pose.
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