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Tourist in Times Square
Lost in the Neon Labyrinth
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Times Square is the only location where you'll hear "Welcome to New York" while being aggressively handed a flyer for a comedy club, a comedy show, and a comedy walking tour. I just wanted to see the big screens, not perform on one.
Subway Commuter
Surviving the Underground Jungle
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The MTA announced they're improving the subway experience. I didn't realize "improving" meant playing a game of "How Many People Can Fit in a Train Car Without Personal Space?
Central Park Jogger
Dodging Geese and Finding Inner Peace
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I tried to meditate in Central Park, but the only mantra I could focus on was the guy nearby yelling, "I am one with nature!" as he fed breadcrumbs to pigeons. Turns out, nature has a weird sense of humor.
Apartment Dweller
The Battle for Closet Space
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They say living in New York makes you resilient. Well, I've become so resilient that I can sleep through sirens, construction, and the guy next door practicing his trombone at 3 am. It's like my superpower is selective hearing.
Broadway Actor
Auditioning for Stardom in the City That Never Sleeps
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New York is the only place where you can hear someone confidently say, "I'm not an actor, but I play one in auditions." It's the city where everyone's a star in their own one-person show, even if it's just in their shower.
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