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Why did my best friend bring a baseball glove to our dinner? He wanted to catch up!
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Why did my best friend bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why did my best friend bring a pencil to our lunch? In case he wanted to draw some attention!
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Why did my best friend bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why did my best friend bring a calendar to the beach? Because he wanted to have a good time!
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Why did my best friend bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why did my best friend become a gardener? Because he's outstanding in his field!
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I told my best friend he should be a baker. He kneaded that encouragement.
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Why did my best friend bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
Best Friend's Fitness Regimen
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My best friend convinced me to join him in a fitness routine. It's called synchronized snacking. We synchronize our snack breaks with episodes of our favorite TV shows. The only six-pack we're developing is in the fridge.
Best Friend's Unique Talent
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My best friend has a unique talent – he can turn any situation into a crisis. It could be a peaceful Sunday afternoon, and suddenly, he's convinced we're in the middle of a covert mission to save the world. Dude, we're just picking up groceries!
Best Friend's Psychic Abilities
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My best friend claims he's psychic. He predicted the future once – he said we'd be rich and famous. Well, we're not rich, and the only thing we're famous for is getting kicked out of a karaoke bar for attempting a duet of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My Best Friend, the Time Thief
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You ever have that friend who's always late? My best friend doesn't just arrive fashionably late; he enters a whole new time zone. I'm convinced he has a secret portal in his closet that leads to a dimension where punctuality is forbidden.
Best Friend's Emergency Response Time
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I tested my best friend's emergency response time. I sent him a text saying, Help, I'm stranded! Three days later, he replied, Did you try turning it off and on again? Thanks, buddy, I'll remember that during the zombie apocalypse.
My Best Friend, the Human Google
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My best friend thinks he's Google in human form. You ask him a question, and he's like, I don't know, but give me five minutes. Next thing you know, he's reading an entire Wikipedia page out loud, and you've aged a year waiting for a simple answer.
My Best Friend's Superpower
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My best friend's superpower? Selective hearing. I can tell him a detailed story about my day, and all he hears is, Blah blah blah... pizza? It's like living with a human version of a broken radio that only picks up food-related frequencies.
GPS or Best Friend Positioning Service?
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I rely on my best friend for directions, but it's like having a human GPS that insists on taking scenic routes through construction zones and cow pastures. I swear, he's got a personal vendetta against the efficient use of asphalt.
My Best Friend, the Chef
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My best friend considers himself a culinary genius. He once made a dish that looked like abstract art and tasted like regret. I asked him what the secret ingredient was, and he said, Well, I ran out of salt, so I used powdered sugar. Close enough, right?
My Best Friend's 'Great' Ideas
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My best friend is the mastermind behind the brilliant ideas that make you question your life choices. You know it's trouble when he starts a sentence with, Hey, what if we... Last time, it involved a trampoline, a skateboard, and a very confused circus clown.
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