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Why did Miriam bring a ladder to the comedy club? She wanted to take her humor to the next level!
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Why did Miriam bring a car to the restaurant? She heard they had great parking!
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Miriam wanted to become a baker, but every time she tried, she couldn't make enough dough. It was just kneadless effort!
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Why did Miriam bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why did Miriam bring a broom to the party? She wanted to sweep everyone off their feet!
Miriam's Cooking Adventure
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Miriam's idea of a home-cooked meal is ordering takeout from a different cuisine every night. I asked her once if she knew how to use a stove, and she looked at me like I just asked her to solve a Rubik's Cube in the dark.
Miriam's Workout Routine
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Miriam started a new workout routine – it's called lifting the remote to change the channel. She claims it's a full-body workout, especially for her thumbs. I'm just waiting for her to launch the Miriam Fitness App – where the only exercise is scrolling through memes.
Miriam's Time Management
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Miriam claims she's a master of time management, but I've never seen someone so skilled at being late. She's like a wizard, always arriving precisely when she means to – fifteen minutes after everyone else.
Miriam's GPS
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You ever notice how Miriam's GPS has a more intense relationship with her than most people? It's like Siri's her therapist, constantly saying, Recalculating route. Are you sure you want to turn left? Is this really the path you want to take in life, Miriam?
Miriam's Gardening Skills
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Miriam decided to try gardening, and let's just say her plants have a better chance of survival in the Sahara. She talks to them like they understand English, but I'm pretty sure the plants are plotting their escape.
Miriam's DIY Disasters
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Miriam's DIY skills are legendary. She once tried to fix a leaky faucet and ended up creating a water feature in her kitchen. She called it Faucet Fountain – A Splash of Modern Art.
Miriam's Shopping Spree
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Miriam's idea of retail therapy is buying things she doesn't need. She once bought a bread maker and proudly announced she was going to become a bread artisan. Last time I checked, her kitchen was still gluten-free.
Miriam's Cooking Show Dreams
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Miriam told me she dreams of having her own cooking show. I can see it now – Miriam's Kitchen Catastrophes. Each episode ends with her ordering pizza because, let's face it, that's the real recipe for success.
Miriam's Social Media Mastery
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Miriam's social media game is strong. She can turn a casual brunch into an Instagram-worthy event. I swear, she takes more pictures of her food than NASA takes of outer space. She's on a mission to document every avocado toast in the universe.
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