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Minty toothpaste is like a slap in the face to your taste buds. It's the only time we voluntarily subject ourselves to a refreshing burn while contemplating life decisions in front of the bathroom mirror. Minty self-reflection.
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You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new toothpaste flavor. "Oh, wow, they have mint fusion with a hint of arctic blast? Sign me up! My teeth are about to experience a winter wonderland.
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You know you're an adult when you start judging people by the state of their gum. "Oh, you still chew regular gum? It's all about the extra refreshing, triple-layered, mint-infused gum, my friend. Step up your chewing game.
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I love how the fancy restaurants give you a mint after your meal, as if it erases the fact that you just spent half your salary on a tiny piece of chicken. "Here's a mint to freshen your breath and distract you from your financial decisions.
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You ever notice how minty gum has this magical ability to disappear? One moment, you're opening a fresh pack, and the next, it's like you're the Houdini of chewing. I swear, my gum has a better escape plan than most of my relationships.
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Buying mints is like making a commitment to your breath. It's the only time we willingly pay for something that disappears faster than our motivation to go to the gym. Minty freshness, I choose you! And poof, it's gone.
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I tried growing mint in my garden once. It started taking over like it owned the place. I thought I was growing a herb; turns out, I was cultivating a minty rebellion. I can just imagine the other plants complaining, "Who invited Mintz to the garden party?
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Mints are like the ninjas of the candy world. You never see them coming, but suddenly they're there, fighting bad breath one stealthy dissolve at a time. Minty warriors, our unsung heroes.
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Why is it that every time you try to discreetly grab a mint, the wrapper decides to perform an impromptu drum solo, announcing to the entire room, "Hey, this person is trying to freshen up, everybody!
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