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Why do people feel the need to comment on how much you're eating? I'm at a restaurant, enjoying my meal, and someone goes, "Wow, you're hungry!" No kidding, Sherlock! Mind your own plate, and I'll mind mine.
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I love how everyone's an expert on how you should raise your kids. "Oh, you should breastfeed." "You should use organic diapers." "You should play Mozart for them." I'm just thinking, "Hey, why don't you mind your own business? My kid's gonna grow up on PB&J and nursery rhymes, and that's perfectly fine!
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Isn't it funny how we become relationship experts when our friends are going through a rough patch? "You should communicate more." "You should spice things up." I'm tempted to say, "You should mind your own love life and let them figure it out!
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Have you ever been reading a book, and someone comes up to you, leans over, and says, "What page are you on?" Like, why? Are we having a race? Can't I enjoy my novel in peace? Next time someone asks, I'm just gonna say, "Mind your own chapter, buddy!
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Why is it that people always want to know what's in your lunchbox at work? I bring out a sandwich, and suddenly, it's a crime scene investigation. Colleagues be like, "Oh, what's that? Is it homemade? Can I try a bite?" I'm just here thinking, "Hey, mind your own business, Karen, this is my sandwich fortress.
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You know you're an adult when someone asks about your weekend plans, and you respond with, "Oh, you know, just some adulting stuff." It's like a secret society of responsible people. But seriously, folks, why are we so vague? Maybe we're just collectively saying, "Mind your own business, weekends are sacred.
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Have you ever been binge-watching a TV series, and someone walks in, looks at the screen, and says, "Oh, you're still watching this?" Yes, Brenda, I am. Mind your own remote control, and I'll handle my questionable taste in television dramas.
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The world of online shopping is a dangerous place. You order one thing, and suddenly you're bombarded with suggestions. "Customers who bought this also bought..." I'm like, "Hey, algorithms, mind your own business! I just wanted a toaster, not a life coach.
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You ever notice how everyone becomes an FBI agent when they see someone whispering? I mean, come on, folks, we've all got that friend who leans in and goes, "Hey, what are they talking about over there?" Like, buddy, mind your own business, you're not auditioning for a spy movie!
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Let's talk about neighborly advice. You move into a new place, and suddenly, everyone's an expert on local politics, the best grocery store, and where to get the tastiest takeout. I'm just thinking, "Hey, let me discover the wonders of my neighborhood on my own. Mind your own GPS, folks!
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