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So, Menachem told me he's on a new diet – the "see-food" diet. You know, the one where you see food and then eat it. I told him, "Dude, that's not a diet; that's a lifestyle.
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Have you ever borrowed Menachem's phone? Good luck finding anything. It's like a digital treasure hunt. I asked him if he's heard of folders, and he said, "Yeah, I use them – to hide my most important apps from myself.
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You ever notice how Menachem can turn any casual conversation into a deep philosophical discussion? I asked him, "How's the weather?" and he replied, "Well, if you think about it, weather is just the universe's way of expressing its mood swings.
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Menachem has this habit of checking the fridge every five minutes, hoping that something magical will appear. I'm starting to think he believes in the Fridge Fairy – you know, the mythical creature that restocks your fridge while you're not looking.
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Menachem has this uncanny ability to turn any story into a five-act Shakespearean drama. You tell him you went to the grocery store, and suddenly you're recounting the epic tale of the quest for the last bag of chips in aisle seven.
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Menachem claims he's a morning person, but I'm pretty sure he means 11:59 AM. I asked him what time he wakes up, and he said, "Early, like, when the sun is still out – you know, around brunch.
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Menachem once tried to convince me that doing laundry is a form of meditation. I said, "Buddy, if that's true, my laundry room is a Zen garden, and my socks are my tiny monks.
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Menachem is the only person I know who has a favorite spoon. Seriously, he goes to the kitchen, opens the drawer, and carefully selects Spoon #7 like he's choosing a wand at Ollivanders. I didn't even know spoons had personalities!
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You know how some people have a green thumb? Menachem has a "brown thumb." Every plant he touches ends up questioning its life choices. I told him he should stick to cacti – the desert survivors of the plant kingdom.
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