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Marshawn Lynch is so elusive; I'm convinced he could disappear in a game of hide-and-seek with Bigfoot. The defenders are left scratching their heads, and Marshawn's probably in the locker room playing cards, sipping on a smoothie.
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I heard Marshawn Lynch opened a bakery. Yeah, the "Beast Mode Bakeshop." I bet the cookies are so tough; you need a stiff-arm just to take a bite. "No soft cookies here, only stiff-arm approved!
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Have you seen Marshawn Lynch's touchdown celebrations? It's like he's trying to solve a Rubik's Cube with his body. I can barely tie my shoes without tripping over, and here he is doing interpretive dance in the end zone.
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Marshawn Lynch's stiff-arm is so powerful; I'm pretty sure he uses it to open pickle jars at home. Grandma may have her secret recipe, but Marshawn has the secret technique – the Lynch grip.
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Marshawn Lynch talks to the media less than I talk to my plants. I'm just waiting for him to show up at a press conference with a potted fern and say, "I'm here so I won't get fined, and this is my spokesperson, Phil the Philodendron.
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You ever notice how Marshawn Lynch runs? It's like he's trying to avoid tackling the ground. I mean, most people run on the field; Marshawn's out there tiptoeing through the tulips, dodging tackles like they're his ex's calls.
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Marshawn Lynch retired from the NFL and then came back. I can't even commit to a Netflix series without a two-month break, and he's out here un-retiring from professional football like it's a weekend hobby.
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Marshawn Lynch is so quiet during games; I wouldn't be surprised if he's got a mute button hidden in his helmet. It's like he's playing football on silent mode – just letting his moves do the talking.
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Marshawn Lynch is the only person who can make a fumble look intentional. He drops the ball, looks at it, and you can almost hear him saying, "Just testing the gravitational pull on this field, no big deal.
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