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I have a married cousin who gives relationship advice like she's a seasoned guru. She says, "Communication is the key to a happy marriage." I tried it with my roommate once. I left a note saying, "We need to talk about the dishes." He left a note back saying, "I moved out." Turns out, communication might be the key, but you also need the right locksmith.
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My married cousin once told me, "Love is blind." I nodded in agreement until I saw her husband wearing socks with sandals. Now I'm convinced that love might need glasses, a magnifying glass, and maybe even a telescope to see the full picture.
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You ever notice how married cousins have this secret language when they're in public? It's like a subtle eyebrow raise or a discreet elbow nudge. They could be talking about the weather, but you know there's a whole covert conversation happening about whose turn it is to take out the trash or who forgot to buy milk.
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You know, I recently attended a family reunion, and I realized something fascinating. Why is it that we always end up sitting next to our married cousins? It's like the universe conspires to make us discuss mortgage rates and diaper brands over dinner. "So, did you try the new organic baby wipes? Great for the environment, terrible for your wallet!
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I was at a wedding last weekend, and my cousin, who happens to be married, came up to me and said, "Marriage is like a roller coaster." I thought, "Yeah, but at least with a roller coaster, you can see the twists and turns coming. Marriage is more like being blindfolded on a roller coaster – you have no idea when the loop-de-loops are about to hit!
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You ever notice how when you're around your married cousins, they start using phrases like "we" and "us" for everything? "We bought a new car," "We decided on a vacation." I tried doing that with my single friends. "We finished a whole pizza last night." They looked at me like I had an imaginary friend named Pizza.
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So, my married cousin told me that compromise is crucial in a relationship. I tried it out with my pet goldfish. He wanted a bigger bowl; I wanted a cleaner tank. We compromised – he got a bigger bowl, and I got a water vacuum. Now he's swimming in luxury, and I'm still scrubbing algae.
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I asked my married cousin for the secret to a lasting marriage, and she said, "Patience." I tried applying that to my Wi-Fi connection. Every time it goes out, I just sit there patiently, waiting for it to come back. Turns out, I have the patience of a saint when it comes to cat videos and memes.
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You ever notice how married cousins are experts at the art of compromise? They can turn a disagreement into a negotiation. It's like a diplomatic summit every time they discuss what movie to watch. "I want action, she wants romance – let's compromise and watch a romantic action movie. Explosions and love scenes – the perfect compromise!
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You ever notice how when you're at a family gathering with your married cousins, they always have this look of silent understanding? Like they've been through some sort of top-secret mission together. I'm there trying to decode their eye contact, thinking, "Are they discussing world peace, or did someone forget to pick up the kids from soccer practice?
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