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Have you ever tried explaining to a kid how a lighter works? "You see, it's like magic, but with a safety switch." It's like trying to teach a fish how to ride a bicycle – confusing and ultimately pointless.
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Lighters are the real MVPs of birthday parties. No one talks about it, but the person with the lighter is basically the gatekeeper to happiness. Forget cake – bring forth the mighty flame, and let the candles fear your power!
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You ever notice how lighters are like the unsung heroes of adulthood? As a kid, fire was this mystical thing only adults could control. Now, we just flick our Bic and pretend we're wizards summoning the flame of responsibility.
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Lighters are the original social network. Forget Facebook, it's all about sparking conversations with strangers over the shared struggle of lighting that darn candle at the restaurant. Instant camaraderie.
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Lighters are like pocket philosophers. You're standing there, contemplating life, and then you realize you've been holding a tiny fire in your hand for the past five minutes. Suddenly, all your deep thoughts go up in smoke.
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You know you're an adult when you own more lighters than friends. I've got a collection at home – not because I smoke, but because every time I lend one out, it's like sending a child off to college. Will I ever see it again? Who knows?
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The awkward moment when you're at a concert, and the person in front of you turns into a human torch trying to get their lighter to cooperate. It's like a mini Cirque du Soleil performance – "The Flamboyant Flicker Fail.
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Lighters are the real-timekeepers of a party. You can measure the success of the night by the number of empty lighters scattered around the room. It's the adult version of leaving breadcrumbs – only these breadcrumbs are on fire.
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Lighters are the unsung heroes of survival. You never know when you might need to MacGyver your way out of a situation by creating fire. Forget Swiss Army knives; give me a lighter and watch me conquer the wilderness.
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