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The Procrastinator
Wanting to live life to the fullest but deciding to do it tomorrow
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I've been planning to change my life for years. I even made a to-do list. The only thing left to do on that list is start the to-do list.
The Health Nut
Balancing the desire for a six-pack with the love for pizza
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I joined a gym, but my favorite exercise is scrolling through the menu and deciding what to order after the workout.
The Optimistic Pessimist
Seeing the glass half full and half empty at the same time
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I bought a self-help book on positivity. It said, "Think positive, and positive things will happen." So now, I’m positively broke, positively single, and positively regretting that book.
The Tech Guru
Embracing the latest technology while secretly fearing the robot apocalypse
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I asked Siri for a life quote, and she said, "The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese." I didn't know Siri moonlighted as a stand-up comedian.
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