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The Relationship Guru
Avoiding commitment
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My buddy thinks he's a relationship philosopher because he practices leaverite. He told me, "In love, it's not about staying power; it's about leaving power. You leave before the real problems start, like deciding what to watch on Netflix together.
The Social Event Escape Artist
Always finding an excuse to leave events early
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I went to a party with my friend who's a master at leaverite. I asked him why we had to leave so soon, and he said, "I'm just creating suspense for the next party. Leaving early ensures they'll always wonder if I was there or just a figment of their imagination.
The Lazy Roommate
Trying to avoid doing chores
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I told my lazy roommate he needed to clean up after himself. He looked at me and said, "I'm not messy; I'm just creating a unique ecosystem in our apartment. It's called 'chaos chic.'
The Forgetful Office Worker
Constantly leaving tasks unfinished
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We have a communal kitchen at work, and my forgetful colleague is a master of leaverite in there too. He leaves the coffee maker on, and when I questioned him, he said, "I'm just promoting a 24/7 coffee culture. It's a perk, literally!
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