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The knight's code of chivalry included things like bravery, loyalty, and protecting the weak. I'm just trying to figure out if they would have made good roommates. "Dude, did you leave your sword in the living room again? And could you at least pick up your chainmail from the bathroom floor?
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Knights must have had serious FOMO (fear of missing out) during battles. Imagine being stuck in all that armor, and everyone else is out there swinging swords and having a good time. It's like being the designated driver at a party – you're there, but you're not really part of the action.
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I bet if knights were around today, they'd be the kings of multitasking. I mean, they were riding horses, swinging swords, and rescuing princesses all in a day's work. Meanwhile, I struggle to text and walk at the same time without bumping into things. "Watch out, Sir Texts-a-Lot is coming through!
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Knights had those elaborate shields with their family crests on them. I can barely remember where I put my car keys, and these guys were carrying around personalized battle accessories. Imagine if we had that today, "Excuse me, sir, can you hold on a second? I need to grab my shield before I argue with my neighbor.
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You ever think about the horse's perspective in all this knight business? I mean, one day you're just a regular horse, and the next, some dude in a suit of armor is riding you into battle. It's like, "Excuse me, sir, I'm just trying to graze peacefully. I didn't sign up for this medieval Uber service.
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You know, the whole damsel in distress thing with knights rescuing princesses from dragons – it's like the original romantic comedy. I can imagine the knight's dating profile: "Enjoys long walks on the castle battlements, slaying dragons, and saving damsels who have a tendency to get themselves kidnapped.
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You ever notice how knights had to wear all that armor? I mean, it's like they were preparing for the world's most intense Renaissance fair, but they didn't want to risk a lawsuit if someone's jousting lance accidentally poked them in the eye.
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Knights had squires to help them with their armor. That's like having a personal assistant, but instead of fetching coffee, they're strapping you into a metal suit like you're getting ready for intergalactic travel. "Squire, do I look fat in this armor? Be honest.
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Knights had these elaborate helmets with visors that lifted up. I can't even get my smartphone's face recognition to work half the time, and these guys had a medieval version that operated flawlessly. Maybe they were onto something – "Siri, open sesame!
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Knights had these massive swords. I can barely swing a golf club without hitting a tree, and these guys were wielding weapons that looked like they were compensating for something. I bet their horses were rolling their eyes thinking, "Here comes Sir Overcompensates-a-Lot again.
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