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Kids today are so advanced. My daughter asked me if she could have a Kindle for her birthday. I got her a bookshelf, and now she thinks I'm living in the Stone Age.
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Kids are like sponges – they absorb information effortlessly. Unless it's a history textbook, then it's like trying to soak up knowledge with a wet noodle.
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Kids and their books – it's like witnessing a magic show where the real trick is convincing them that the words on the page have the power to transport them to another dimension. Abracadabra, you're in Narnia!
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Reading to kids is a delicate art. You have to bring characters to life without using too many voices, or you end up sounding like a one-person Shakespearean play. Hamlet the bedtime story, anyone?
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You ever notice how kids these days approach reading like it's a secret society initiation? It's not just a book; it's a covert operation with secret handshakes and decoder rings.
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Remember when kids used to trade Pokémon cards? Now they're trading book recommendations like little literary stockbrokers. "I'll give you two Hardy Boys for a Goosebumps and throw in a Captain Underpants!
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I tried explaining to my niece that the dictionary isn't a bedtime story, but she insists on reading it like it's the latest Harry Potter novel. Spoiler alert: the definition of "sandwich" isn't as thrilling as a wizard duel.
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My son told me he finished a book in a day. I was impressed until he showed me the book – it was one of those "Connect the Dots" activity books. Technically, he wasn't wrong.
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My nephew asked me for a bedtime story, so I started telling him about the time before smartphones. He fell asleep halfway through, probably dreaming of a world where people actually had to remember phone numbers.
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