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I heard about a dog that can jump higher than a building. It's because buildings can't jump!
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What did one trampoline say to the other? 'Quit bouncing around and let's jump to conclusions!
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Why did the scarecrow decide to take up jumping? He wanted to be outstanding in his field!
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What do you call a rabbit that tells jokes? A funny bunny with a hoppy sense of humor!
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I thought about starting a business where people pay me to jump on their beds. But then I realized it's just a bounce of checks waiting to happen!
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My friend bet me $20 that I couldn't jump over a pile of books. I knew I could, and you should've seen the look on his face when I won. It was novel!
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I wanted to start a club for people who love jumping off cliffs. But I realized it was a bit of a leap in logic.
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I joined a jumping fitness class. Apparently, it's a great way to stay in shape. It's also a great way to discover muscles you never knew existed, like the 'ouch-I-didn't-know-that-could-hurt' muscle.
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I attempted a jump in front of my cat once. The disdain in his eyes said it all – 'Humans, always trying to defy the laws of physics while I master the art of napping.'
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The Jump: Because nothing says 'I regret this decision' like momentarily defying gravity. It's like our bodies momentarily forget we're not birds – we're just humans who really should have stuck to the ground!
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I'm thinking of starting a support group for people who are afraid of heights. Our first meeting will be on the ground floor. Baby steps, or in our case, ground-level steps.
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I decided to take up skydiving. You know, just a casual jump from a perfectly good airplane. Because who needs a functional parachute when you've got a strong sense of denial?
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I tried to impress my date with a jump once. I thought, 'Hey, chicks dig guys who can defy physics.' Turns out, they also dig guys who don't sprain their ankles trying to impress them.
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My friend convinced me to try bungee jumping. I asked, 'What if the cord snaps?' He said, 'Don't worry, we'll send you a sympathy card.' Now that's what I call a leap of faith – straight into greeting cards for the departed.
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They say 'don't jump to conclusions.' Well, I've mastered the art of jumping to snacks. You'd be amazed at how fast I can leap from my couch to the fridge during a commercial break.
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The last time I tried a high jump, I realized I had a fear of heights. Not because I was afraid of falling, but because I was afraid of the judgmental looks from gravity. 'Really? You thought you could fly?'
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