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Julio's always talking about wanting to get in shape. He joined a gym, but every time I call him to go work out, he's like, "Oh, sorry, I'm at the gym right now." I'm starting to think his definition of the gym involves a couch and a bag of chips.
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Julio loves to binge-watch TV shows, and he's always recommending them to me. But here's the thing – he's on season 6 of a show, and I just started it. He's like, "Oh, you'll catch up in no time." Julio, do you know how many episodes there are?!
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Have you ever played video games with Julio? He's that guy who keeps pressing all the buttons like it's a piano recital. I'm like, "Dude, it's a game controller, not a musical instrument. Calm down!
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Julio's the kind of guy who sets three alarms in the morning, but somehow manages to snooze through all of them. I asked him about it, and he said, "I'm just practicing for the inevitable disappointment in my day.
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You ever notice how Julio always claims to be on a diet, but the guy can't resist the temptation of the office snack table? I saw him eyeing that donut like it owed him money. I'm like, "Julio, that's not part of your kale and quinoa plan!
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Julio recently discovered a new hobby – he's into extreme couponing now. I went shopping with him, and he pulled out this massive stack of coupons at the checkout. The cashier gave him a look like, "Are you buying groceries or trying to pay off the national debt?
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I went to Julio's house, and he's got this high-tech, voice-activated smart home system. I asked him to turn on the lights, and the thing responded with, "Sorry, I can't do that, Julio forgot to pay the electricity bill." Who knew smart homes had a sense of humor?
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Julio loves taking selfies, but his camera roll is a disaster. It's filled with accidental shots of his forehead and random close-ups of his nostrils. I told him, "Dude, your phone thinks you have a serious obsession with your own nose. Time for a selfie intervention!
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Have you ever been in a car with Julio? The man's GPS is like a backseat driver on steroids. It's constantly recalculating, and I swear it sounds more disappointed in him than his mother ever was.
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