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Have you ever been to the IT department's office? It's like entering a forbidden realm. It's all dimly lit, with the hum of servers in the background, and cables dangling like creepy vines. I half-expect to see a sign that says, "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here." And the IT guy is always in the back, surrounded by multiple screens, looking like he's hacking into the Pentagon or something. I'm just there to get my password reset, not to join a covert mission.
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Can we talk about passwords for a second? IT people act like we're supposed to remember a gazillion different passwords for all our accounts. They say, "Make it strong and unique!" But then they add, "But don't write it down." So, now I have passwords like "xQ%7lP2#zY9" for everything. I feel like I'm typing in Morse code just to access my email. And then they force us to change it every few months, like it's some sort of security fashion show. "Sorry, sir, your password is so last season. You need a new one.
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Have you ever had an IT person try to explain where your missing files went? It's like they're describing a magic trick. "Okay, so your files were here, and then I waved my IT wand, and poof! They disappeared." I'm half expecting them to pull a rabbit out of their server rack at this point. I love how they always blame the updates. "Oh, you didn't lose your files; they just went on a little vacation during the update process." Well, I didn't get an invitation to that vacation! I want my files to send me a postcard next time.
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You ever notice how IT professionals have this uncanny ability to make you feel like a total idiot? I called IT the other day because my computer was acting up. I explained the issue like I was talking to a toddler: "The little picture box with the blinky lights is doing the cha-cha, and I don't think it's supposed to do that." The IT guy responds, "Sir, have you tried turning it off and on again?" Like, really? Do they think we're all idiots? Of course, I tried that! But I don't tell him that; instead, I say, "No, I thought I'd let it meditate for a bit and hope it finds its Zen."
I'm convinced IT professionals have a secret language. You could be saying, "My mouse is acting weird," and they hear, "Blah blah blah techno jargon blah blah." They start throwing around terms like RAM, BIOS, and GUI, and I'm just nodding along like I'm fluent in Geekinese.
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