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Interviews make you realize how much you can talk about something while saying nothing at all. "Describe a challenging situation you handled." "Well, there was this one time when the printer ran out of paper, but I heroically refilled it. Crisis averted!
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Interviews are the only place where saying, "I’m a people person" is crucial. You have to convince them you love humans more than puppies. "Oh, absolutely, I thrive in social situations! Can’t spend enough time around humans!
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Interviews are basically contests of who can brag without sounding like they're bragging. "I led a project that changed the company landscape, but you know, it was a team effort. I mean, I carried the team, but hey, team!
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It's funny how interviews make you doubt your own skills. "I’ve been programming for years, but suddenly, asked to write a simple code snippet, I’m like, 'Is that how you spell 'if'?
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You ever notice how job interviews are like blind dates? You’re both trying to impress each other, hoping it’s a match, but instead of flowers, you bring your resume. "Here's my love for spreadsheets!
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Interviews are a balancing act between honesty and "tailoring the truth." "Where do you see yourself in five years?" "Hopefully sitting on a beach sipping a cocktail, but realistically, right here, adding value to this great company!
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Have you noticed how during interviews, the silence after a question feels longer than waiting for a microwave to finish? "Tell me about yourself." Five hours later "So, kindergarten or first grade?
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Interviews are like acting auditions, except instead of pretending to be someone else, you're trying to be the most polished, professional version of yourself. "Yes, I'm the CEO of 'I have everything together and never panic' incorporated.
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Job interviews are the only place where you can feel both overqualified and underqualified at the same time. "I can lead a team of a hundred! Oh, you need proficiency in Excel? Uh, I'm more of a Word person.
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