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Incels always complain about being friend-zoned. I mean, come on, if they had a loyalty card for being friend-zoned, they'd have a free coffee by now. Maybe that's their secret plan – get enough stamps and unlock the achievement of a free relationship.
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I heard incels started a new workout trend. It's called "Lifting Weights and Feeling Sorry for Yourself." The only six-pack they're developing is in the fridge while they binge-watch romantic comedies.
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I tried to console an incel once, and he said, "Don't worry, I'm used to rejection." I told him, "I'm not rejecting you; I'm just not accepting your invitation to join the Pity Party.
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You know you're dealing with an incel when his idea of a romantic gesture is sending unsolicited poetry to your inbox. I got one the other day that said, "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm lonely as hell, and this poem is too.
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You ever notice how incels have their own dating app? It's called "ForeverAloneMingle." The only match you get is with a mirror, and even that's a swipe left.
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Ever notice how incels have a unique way of taking selfies? It's like they've mastered the art of capturing the loneliness in their eyes. #FilterForFeelings
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Incels have their own motivational quotes. "When life gives you lemons, just sit in your basement and complain about how life never gave you a chance to make lemonade.
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Incels have a secret weapon – they call it the "Charm Bracelet." It's just a bracelet with the charms of every excuse they've ever used for not getting a date.
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Incels claim to be experts in body language. They can tell you what it means when a girl crosses her arms or looks away. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to figure out what to order for dinner.
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