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We've all experienced the horror of sending a message to the wrong person. Autocorrect, the silent puppet master, turns "meeting at 10" into "eating a hen." Suddenly, you're left explaining to your boss why you're not only late but also pursuing an unusual brunch choice.
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You ever notice that elevators have that one person who's determined to press all the buttons? It's like a tiny act of rebellion against the confined space. You end up on a surprise tour of every floor, realizing that patience truly is an elevator virtue.
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The art of pretending to understand someone when they're speaking in a thick accent is a skill we all master. We nod and smile, hoping they're not asking us a question because, in that moment, we're fluent in the universal language of confusion.
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Have you ever tried to discreetly Google something in a meeting, thinking you're a covert spy gathering crucial information? Meanwhile, everyone else is discussing quarterly reports, and you're deep into the mysteries of "How to convince your cat they're adopted.
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Can we talk about the struggle of trying to gracefully exit a group conversation? You start with the classic laugh, throw in a few head nods, but then comes that awkward moment when you realize you're stuck in the social quicksand. You end up blurting out, "Well, I'll see myself out," even if you're just going to the bathroom.
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Let's discuss the unsung heroes of our time – the people who take the last slice of pizza at a party. They don't seek praise; they're just silently accepting the responsibility of preventing a potential cold pizza tragedy. Thank you, pizza vigilantes, for your sacrifice.
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Let's discuss the bravery of the person who first tried to make almond milk. I imagine them looking at an almond and thinking, "You know what this needs? A good squeeze." And voila, almond milk – the dairy alternative that makes you question your nut-squeezing skills.
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Why is it that we all pretend to understand what's going on when someone pulls out a map in public? It's like a collective performance where we nod and go, "Ah, yes, I see exactly where we are," while secretly praying they don't ask us to take the lead. Spoiler alert: Google Maps was invented for a reason.
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The invention of the snooze button on alarm clocks is like a little gift from the universe. It's that brief moment of rebellion against responsibilities, where you convince yourself that ten more minutes of sleep will somehow solve all your problems. Spoiler alert: It won't.
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You ever notice how, when you're at someone's house and they offer you a cup of coffee, they become the unofficial barista of the day? They start listing off coffee options like it's a secret menu at a café. "We have Colombian, Ethiopian, and oh, a touch of regret from yesterday. Cream and sugar?
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