20 Husband N Wife Jokes

Puns

Updated on: Jun 17 2024

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Why did the husband take a fishing pole to bed? He was trying to catch some sleep!
Why did the wife bring a car to the dinner table? Because she wanted a drive-through meal!
Why did the wife bring a mirror to bed? To reflect on her dreams!
Why did the husband get his wife a fridge for her birthday? Because love may fade, but food is eternal!
Why did the husband gift his wife a puzzle? To show her their relationship was missing a few pieces!
Why did the husband sit on the computer? He wanted to press the right buttons and keep the family in touch!
Why did the husband buy his wife some flowers after an argument? He wanted to plant the seed of forgiveness!
Why did the husband bring a ladder to bed? Because he wanted to raise the bar!
Why did the wife carry a photo of her husband in her purse? In case she needed some emergency cash!
Why did the wife bring a clock to bed? She wanted to show her husband it's time to talk about their relationship!
My wife asked me if I remember the day we got married. I told her, 'Of course, it was the day my gaming console suddenly had a 'Player 2' option.'
My wife claims she can read my mind. I'm starting to believe her because she always knows when I'm thinking about ordering pizza.
I suggested to my wife that we should try a new hobby together. She said, 'How about pretending to listen to each other?' Nailed it!
They say marriage is about compromise. My wife and I compromise on what to watch on TV. She gets to choose the show, and I get to choose when to fall asleep during it.
Marriage is like a deck of cards. At the start, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. But after a few years, you're looking for a club and a spade just to survive.
I asked my husband what he wanted for our anniversary. He said, 'An uninterrupted nap.' So, I booked him a hotel room.
My wife and I decided to make a list of everything we find annoying about each other. Turns out, we both need more paper and ink than the IRS.
I tried to impress my wife by fixing a leaky faucet. Now we have a brand new swimming pool in the kitchen.
My husband thinks he's the king of the remote control. Little does he know, I've been secretly upgrading my Netflix password as my own form of rebellion.
My wife's idea of a romantic evening is binge-watching a TV series together. At least, that's what I assume she meant when she said, 'Let's Netflix and never leave the couch.'

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