10 Husband N Wife Jokes

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Jun 17 2024

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It's amazing how the phrase "Happy wife, happy life" somehow translates into "Where are we going?" every time we get into the car.
In marriage, "good communication" means not saying "I told you so" more than three times a day.
The key to a successful marriage is understanding compromise. I pick the restaurant, she picks the movie, and the dog picks whose side of the bed he wants to sleep on.
My wife said she wanted a fairy tale wedding. So I made sure her mother-in-law was there!
My wife asked me to put the dishes away. I didn't realize "away" meant the sink. Apparently, the dishwasher's got a no-entry sign.
You know you're in a long-term relationship when "we need to talk" shifts from terrifying to "What did I forget to do now?
My husband claims he can multitask, but when I ask him to listen while I talk, suddenly he's deaf and can't find anything.
Marriage is a lot like a game of chess. Except the board is constantly moving, the pieces have a mind of their own, and sometimes you end up playing checkers instead.
Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade!
You know you've been married for a while when "Netflix and chill" actually means watching Netflix and chilling, without any expectations.

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