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Herschel's idea of a high-tech gadget is a paper map. I saw him unfold it in the middle of the city, and people were looking at him like he just discovered fire. "What is this ancient scroll, Herschel?
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I met a guy named Herschel at the coffee shop the other day. He asked for a decaf soy latte with extra foam. I didn't know whether to get him a coffee or a bubble bath. Herschel, you're confusing the baristas and your taste buds!
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Herschel tried to teach me how to fix a leaky faucet the other day. He handed me a wrench and said, "Just give it a good whack." I'm pretty sure Herschel's plumbing advice is how we ended up with the fountain of Trevi.
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Herschel, that name sounds like the lovechild of a cough and a sneeze. "Achoo! Herschel, are you okay?" It's like naming your kid after the sound they make when they stub their toe.
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Herschel's favorite social media platform is still MySpace. He said, "Why fix what ain't broke?" I tried to explain that MySpace is basically the Blockbuster of the internet, but Herschel's in denial.
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Herschel once tried to impress me with his knowledge of modern slang. He said, "I'm totally 'on fleek' right now." I had to break it to him gently that "on fleek" went out of style around the same time as his favorite disco moves.
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Herschel's the kind of guy who still uses a flip phone. I asked him if he's ever heard of a smartphone, and he said, "Why would I need a phone that's smarter than me?" Fair point, Herschel, fair point.
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You ever notice how every family has that one relative named Herschel? The one who still thinks it's cool to wear socks with sandals? I mean, come on Herschel, it's not a fashion statement; it's a cry for help!
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Herschel is convinced that he can predict the weather by the ache in his knee. I told him there are apps for that now, but he swears by his "meteor-joint-ology" method. Move over, meteorologists, Herschel's knee knows it all!
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