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Why did Herschel bring a map to the restaurant? In case he lost his way to the lox and bagels!
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What did Herschel say when he crossed the finish line? 'I'm Matzo-ver the moon!
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Why did Herschel bring a mirror to the barbecue? To see if his brisket was the fairest of them all!
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What's Herschel's favorite holiday treat? Dreidel-shaped cookies—they're always a spin-sation!
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What's Herschel's favorite dessert? Matzo smores—schmear and chocolate between two matzos!
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Why did Herschel become a gardener? Because he wanted to make his parsley grow like his beard!
Herschel's DIY Pet Grooming
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Herschel thought he could save a few bucks by grooming his own dog. Now the poor pup looks like it tried to fight a lawnmower and lost. I've never seen a more confused squirrel in my life.
Herschel's Fitness Regimen
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Herschel decided to get in shape, so he joined a gym. But I swear, the only exercise he's mastered is the art of finding the most comfortable spot on the weight bench to take a nap. It's a workout just watching him work out.
Herschel's Culinary Masterpieces
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Herschel decided to surprise us with dinner one night. He proudly presented his creation: spaghetti tacos. I didn't know whether to call it fusion cuisine or a cry for help. Let's just say, we ordered takeout that night.
Herschel's Adventures in Grocery Shopping
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You ever go grocery shopping with Herschel? It's like navigating a maze with a GPS that's had a few too many shots of espresso. I asked him to grab some eggs, and next thing I know, he's negotiating with a watermelon like it's a used car.
Herschel's Interpretation of 'Self-Help'
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Herschel's into self-help books, but I think he's taking the advice a bit too literally. Last week, I found him in the living room, chanting positive affirmations to the potted plant. I guess if it starts flowering, we'll know the power of positive thinking is real.
Herschel's Morning Routine
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Herschel's morning routine is a spectacle. He sets five alarms, but they're all different ringtones, creating a cacophony of chaos that could wake the dead. I asked him why, and he said he likes to start the day with a musical overture. Mozart meets heavy metal, apparently.
Herschel's Dating Advice
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Herschel fancies himself a love guru. He told me his secret to a successful date is bringing a pocket-sized accordion and playing love songs. Let me tell you, nothing says romance like trying to squeeze a serenade between sips of your latte.
Herschel's High-Tech Confusion
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Herschel got a new smartphone, and it's like watching a caveman discover fire. He asked me how to download an app, and the next thing I know, he's convinced he accidentally ordered a llama on the dark web.
Herschel's Fashion Faux Pas
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Fashion icon Herschel decided to try out the latest trend: mismatched socks. But he took it to a whole new level. I'm talking polka dots with stripes, neon with pastels—it's like his feet are having a heated argument about color theory.
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