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I tried befriending the hen, you know, to make peace in the neighborhood. I figured maybe it's lonely, maybe it needs a friend. So, I sat next to it and started sharing my problems. "You wouldn't believe what happened at work today, Cluckles." But let me tell you, that hen is the worst therapist ever. All it did was stare at me and cluck disapprovingly. I swear, it's like it was saying, "You think your problems are bad? Try laying an egg every day and see how you feel!
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I did some research on hens, and did you know they have a pecking order? I mean, really? They have a social hierarchy, and apparently, it's a big deal in the chicken world. I thought, "I have enough drama in my life; now I have to worry about henhouse politics?" I imagine these hens having secret meetings, plotting which egg is going to be the leader of the coop. "Hey, Henrietta, I heard you've been laying jumbo eggs. You think you're too good for us regular-sized birds?" It's like they're running some poultry mafia in the backyard.
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You know, I've become an accidental advocate for hens. I'm like their unofficial spokesperson in the neighborhood. I'm out there defending their right to cluck in the morning and supporting their need for a well-organized pecking order. I've even considered starting a support group for people with noisy animal neighbors. We'll call it "Cluck Off." But seriously, who needs an alarm clock when you can have a hen? Forget about gentle wake-up tunes; I've got the natural sound of disgruntled poultry to get me going every day!
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You know, folks, I recently moved into a new neighborhood, and I discovered that my next-door neighbor has a hen. Yeah, a real live chicken! I thought, "Great, now I have a built-in alarm clock with feathers." I swear, that hen starts clucking at the crack of dawn like it's auditioning for a morning radio show. I tried talking to my neighbor about it, and he goes, "Oh, don't worry, you'll get used to it." I said, "Get used to it? I feel like I'm living next to a farm, not a suburban paradise. I'm just waiting for the day he brings in a goat and tells me it's the new landscaper!
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