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Joke Types
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Why did the helpful math book become a therapist? It knew all the 'problems' and had the 'solutions.
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Why did the helpful musician go to therapy? He had too many 'treble' issues!
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Why did the helpful calendar go to therapy? It couldn't cope with too many dates!
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Why did the helpful broom get promoted? It always swept the competition away!
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Why did the helpful computer go to therapy? It had too many 'bytes' of emotional baggage.
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Why did the helpful chef become a gardener? He wanted to 'sow' the seeds of culinary wisdom.
Helpful Advice
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I got some advice recently that was supposed to be helpful. Someone told me, Follow your dreams. So, I tried to follow my dream of becoming a professional sleeper. Turns out, you can't make a living out of that unless you're a cat. My cat is living my dream right now.
Helpful GPS
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I love how GPS is so helpful nowadays. It tells you when to turn, where to go, and even estimates your arrival time. But I swear, sometimes it's judging me. It says, In 500 feet, make a U-turn. And I'm like, Don't judge me, GPS! I'm just taking the scenic route...again.
Helpful Fitness Apps
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I downloaded a fitness app to be more helpful to my body. It sends me notifications like, Time to get moving! I'm like, Listen, if my body wanted to move, it wouldn't have invented the 'couch potato' position. Let me be a supportive couch potato, okay?
Helpful Diets
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I decided to try a new diet, and the nutritionist said, Make sure your plate is colorful with veggies. Now, I have a colorful plate, but it's just different shades of pizza toppings. I call it the Rainbow of Regret diet. It's not helpful for my waistline, but it's fantastic for my mood.
Helpful Husbands
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You ever notice how husbands can be so helpful sometimes? My wife told me, Honey, I need your help around the house more. So, now I stand in various rooms and ask, Is there anything I can help with in here? I call it proactive helpfulness. She calls it annoying.
Helpful Cooking Tips
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I tried following a recipe that claimed to be helpful for beginners. It said, Cook for 20 minutes or until golden brown. Well, let me tell you, after 20 minutes, my kitchen was golden brown, but the chicken was still doing its best impression of a snowman.
Helpful Technology
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You know, technology is supposed to make our lives easier, right? My phone is always trying to be helpful. The other day, I'm typing a message, and it suggests the next word. I'm like, Thanks for trying, but I've known the word 'helpful' since kindergarten. I got this, predictive text!
Helpful Parenting
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Parenting advice is always coming my way. Someone said, You should let your kids make their own decisions; it's helpful for their development. So, now my 5-year-old thinks he's the CEO of the household. He had a board meeting in the living room yesterday to discuss the toy distribution strategy.
Helpful New Year's Resolutions
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New Year's resolutions are supposed to be helpful, right? My resolution was to be more organized. So, I bought a planner, and on the first page, it said, Write down your goals for the year. I wrote, Find the misplaced planner.
Helpful Weather
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They say small talk is essential, so I tried talking about the weather. I told my friend, I find the weather very helpful. He said, How is the weather helpful? I replied, Well, it helps me decide whether I should stay inside and be lazy or go outside and be lazy in a different setting.
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