10 Gym Coach Jokes

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Nov 19 2024

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My gym coach said, "You're not here to make friends; you're here to make gains." Well, joke's on him, because I just made friends with the vending machine guy. We're practically BFFs now.
I told my gym coach I wanted to lose weight. He suggested I start lifting. I thought, "Lifting? I'm just trying not to collapse under the weight of adulting, but sure, let's add more pounds to the mix.
You know, my gym coach is so motivational; he once told me that pain is just weakness leaving the body. I guess my body has been on a self-discovery journey for years now, because that weakness seems to be taking a scenic route.
Why do gym coaches always look so calm and collected, even when pushing you to your limits? It's like they have a secret stash of zen hidden in their gym bags. Meanwhile, I'm sweating so much I could fill a water bottle by the end of the session.
I asked my gym coach for a personalized workout plan. He handed me a piece of paper that said, "Step 1: Sweat. Step 2: Repeat." Thanks, coach, for that groundbreaking fitness advice. I was expecting at least a secret handshake or something.
Gym coaches are like the motivational speakers of the fitness world. They'll shout things like, "You're a machine!" Yeah, a vending machine – I've got snacks inside me, and I only work when someone inserts coins.
You know you've been working out with a strict gym coach when even your alarm clock starts yelling at you in the morning: "Get up! No snooze button, just burpees!
Gym coaches have this magical ability to make the most mundane exercises sound exciting. "Get ready for the jumping jack extravaganza!" It's just jumping and flailing my arms – save the fireworks for the circus, Coach.
Ever notice how gym coaches always have these superhuman levels of enthusiasm? I mean, I walk in there like a tired sloth, and they're like, "Come on, you got this!" I'm thinking, "I've got a coupon for a nap, does that count?
Why do gym coaches always insist on counting out loud during workouts? Is there a national counting championship I'm not aware of? I just want to do my squats in peace without feeling like I'm in a fitness-themed Sesame Street episode.

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