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Who decided that glow-in-the-dark should be green? I feel like there was a missed opportunity for glow-in-the-dark bacon. Imagine waking up at 2 am and being guided to the fridge by the glorious glow of crispy bacon strips.
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I got glow-in-the-dark nail polish, thinking it would add a touch of excitement to my life. Turns out, the only excitement is trying to explain to my boss why my fingertips look like a failed attempt at finger painting during a power outage.
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Glow-in-the-dark clothing is fantastic until you forget you're wearing it and accidentally scare the life out of yourself when you catch a glimpse of your glowing self in the bathroom mirror. Note to self: avoid midnight bathroom trips in the glow-in-the-dark jumpsuit.
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Why do we trust glow-in-the-dark things so much? I mean, my watch might glow, but it doesn't stop me from tripping over my own shoes in the dark. It's like, "Thanks for the effort, but maybe focus on illuminating my clumsiness, too?
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Glow-in-the-dark paint is a game-changer. I painted my light switch, so now finding it in the dark is like playing a high-stakes game of hide and seek. Spoiler alert: the light switch always wins.
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I bought a glow-in-the-dark keyboard thinking it would make me type faster at night. Now it just looks like I'm playing an intergalactic piano every time I send an email. Mozart, eat your heart out.
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I bought some glow-in-the-dark stars to put on my ceiling because I thought it would be a romantic touch. Turns out, it's less stargazing and more like having a miniature UFO invasion every night. Romance level: extraterrestrial.
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You ever notice how glow-in-the-dark stuff is like the overachiever of the inanimate object world? I mean, come on, my watch doesn't just tell time; it also doubles as a tiny nightlight. It's like the Swiss Army knife of wrist accessories.
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Glow-in-the-dark stuff is like the superhero of the night. It's there when you need it, silently saving you from stubbed toes and misplaced keys. If only it came with a cape, I'd be ready to fight crime in the darkness of my own living room.
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