10 Jokes For Gladys

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Aug 05 2024

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Gladys tried to teach me her secret to a long life: eating a spoonful of honey every day. I tried it for a week, and now my morning routine includes wrestling with bees in the backyard. Thanks, Gladys, for the unexpected apiary addition!
Gladys is so into recycling; I think she might have a secret superhero alter ego. I saw her sorting trash like it was a mission from the Green League. I bet in her spare time; she wears a cape made of recycled grocery bags.
Gladys is the queen of self-help books. She reads them like they're a mystery novel, trying to unlock the secrets of eternal happiness. I suggested she write her own book: "How to Stay Sane in a World Full of Self-Help Gurus Who Think They Know Everything.
Gladys has a GPS, but she refuses to trust it completely. She still prints out MapQuest directions just in case the satellites get bored and decide to mess with her. Hey, better safe than sorry, right?
Gladys is obsessed with couponing. She showed me her stash, and I swear she could survive an apocalypse with the amount of canned soup she has. If the end of the world comes, I'm heading to Gladys's house for some budget-friendly survival tips.
You ever notice how Gladys waters her plants? It's like she's giving them a motivational speech. "You're gonna grow big and strong, little fern! Reach for the sunlight like it's your dream job!
I went to borrow a cup of sugar from Gladys, and she handed it to me in a Ziploc bag with a label that said, "Emergency Sugar Ration – Use Wisely." I didn't realize sugar could be a strategic resource.
Gladys insists on calling everyone by their full name. I'm not John anymore; I'm Jonathan. It's like I'm in trouble with my grandma every time we chat. "Jonathan, dear, did you remember to wear a sweater? It's chilly out there!
You know you're at Gladys's place when every conversation starts with, "Back in my day..." I half expect her to pull out a sepia-toned photo album featuring the invention of the wheel.
Gladys is the only person I know who still sends letters by carrier pigeon. I told her it's the 21st century, but she insists it adds a personal touch. I'm just waiting for her pigeon to come back with a Yelp review about my letter.

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