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Why did the scarecrow donate to charity? Because he had a lot of straw to spare!
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Why did the charitable mathematician always give away pi? Because it's an irrational thing to do!
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Why did the charitable computer go to therapy? It had too many emotional bytes!
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I donated to a zoo once. They sent me a thank-you card with a picture of the giraffe. It was a tall order!
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Why did the charitable tomato turn to the cucumber for advice? It wanted to 'ketchup' on being cool!
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Why did the philanthropist break up with the ocean? It just couldn't stop waving.
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I donated all my old batteries to charity. They called it a 'shocking' contribution!
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Why did the tomato turn red at the charity event? It saw the salad dressing!
Charity: Because Sharing Your Wi-Fi Password Doesn't Count!
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They say charity begins at home, so I started by sharing my Wi-Fi password with my neighbors. I thought I was being generous until they asked for the Netflix login. Suddenly, I felt like I was running a streaming charity for the entire block.
I Tried Charity, but My GPS Redirected Me to the Donut Shop!
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I decided to be charitable and clicked on the donation link, but my GPS had other plans. It rerouted me to the nearest donut shop instead. I guess my phone knows my priorities better than I do.
I Tried to Give to Charity, but My Wallet Staged a Protest!
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I decided to be generous and give to charity. My wallet, however, had a different opinion. It staged a protest, complete with tiny picket signs that said, Save the Cash! I guess my money prefers a life of leisure over helping others.
I Considered Charity, but My Couch Convinced Me Otherwise!
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Charity is like exercise - I consider it, but my couch has a compelling argument against it. It said, Why go out and save the world when you can save your spot on the couch? Well played, couch. Well played.
I Thought About Giving, but My Coffee Addiction Said Otherwise!
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I thought about being charitable, but then I realized how much I spend on coffee. My barista has become my personal charity case. I've decided that supporting local caffeine dealers is my way of giving back to the community.
I Tried to Donate, but My Closet Was Too Attached!
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I attempted to clean out my closet and donate some clothes. Turns out, my closet is a hoarder and started clinging to its favorite shirts like a toddler throwing a tantrum. I'm pretty sure my closet has separation anxiety.
Charity Begins at Home, and Apparently, My Home is a Buffet!
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I wanted to be charitable, but every time I try, my kitchen seduces me into preparing a feast. I guess charity begins at home, and in my home, it begins with a smorgasbord of snacks and comfort food.
I Wanted to Be Charitable, but My Dog Disagreed!
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I thought about giving to charity, but my dog gave me this judgmental look, like, You know you could be spending that on more treats for me, right? I guess he's not a fan of altruism unless it involves extra belly rubs.
I Considered Charity, but My Inbox Was Already Begging for Attention!
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I thought about being charitable, but then I checked my email. My inbox was like, Hello, remember me? I'm your neglected charity case. Well, I guess my unread messages are the true recipients of my generosity.
Charity Begins at Home, but My Home's Full of Netflix and Pizza Boxes!
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You know you're an adult when you start considering giving to charity. I tried it once, but my couch was too comfortable, and the TV remote felt neglected. I thought about donating to the Lazy People's Fund, but it turns out that's just called unemployment.
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