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We've reached the stage in our relationship where we finish each other's sentences. Unfortunately, it's mostly me finishing her sentences with, "Wait, what were you saying again?
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My girlfriend asked me to be more spontaneous, so I decided to randomly rearrange the furniture. Now she says she wanted spontaneity, not a game of relationship Jenga.
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My girlfriend asked me to text her when I got home, and now I'm convinced she's secretly running a national "Home Safe" tracking system. I imagine her at a control center with a giant map, pushing pins into it every time someone arrives home.
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Relationships are all about compromise. For example, my girlfriend insists on watching those intense crime dramas, and I insist on narrating the plot with my own colorful commentary. Nothing says love like, "Oh, come on! The killer is obviously the guy with the weird mustache!
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The key to a successful relationship is communication. That's why my girlfriend and I have regular family meetings. We sit down, discuss our goals, and then inevitably get sidetracked by arguing about whose turn it is to do the dishes.
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Dating is like a job interview, but with more awkward silences. Instead of asking about strengths and weaknesses, we're debating whether pineapple belongs on pizza. Spoiler alert: It doesn't.
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My girlfriend claims she doesn't snore, but I swear I've heard sounds coming from her side of the bed that would put a chainsaw to shame. It's like sleeping next to a nocturnal construction site.
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I tried to surprise my girlfriend with breakfast in bed, but apparently, "Sorry, I burned the toast, and the eggs are questionable" isn't the romantic wake-up call she had in mind. Who knew?
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We've been together so long that we've developed our own language. When she says, "I'm fine," I know it's time to launch a full-scale investigation into what went wrong. It's like navigating a linguistic minefield.
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