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Fitness Enthusiast
Trying to get ahead in the gym
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They say lifting weights can help you get ahead. Well, I tried, and now I can't lift my arms high enough to hail a cab. Getting ahead is overrated; I'll settle for a seated position.
Chef
Trying to get ahead in the culinary world
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Trying to get ahead as a chef is tough. I asked my boss for a raise, and he handed me a spatula. Apparently, that's the key to success in this kitchen – flip your problems and hope for the best.
Office Worker
Trying to get ahead in the corporate world
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I thought working late every day would help me get ahead, but all I got was a front-row seat to the cleaning crew's karaoke night. Apparently, "Stairway to Heaven" is their favorite overtime anthem.
Relationship Expert
Trying to get ahead in a romantic relationship
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I attempted to spice things up in the bedroom to get ahead in my relationship. Now I'm banned from using the word "spice" and have to sleep on the couch. Turns out, cinnamon is not an aphrodisiac. Who knew?
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