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Joke Types
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I tried to take up jogging, but I couldn't get past the ice cream truck.
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Why did the scarecrow become a personal trainer? He was outstanding in his field.
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I bought a belt with a built-in compass. I'm now heading in the right direction.
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Why did the fitness trainer never get mad? He always had a good workout to relieve stress.
Fit Freaks and Gym Woes
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You know, I recently decided to get fit. My body said, Let's do this! My couch said, What are you doing? Sit back down. It's a constant battle between my willpower and the gravitational pull of my sofa.
Fitness Classes and Social Anxiety
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I decided to join a fitness class to meet new people. Turns out, I'm still socially awkward even when sweating. The only thing I'm flexing is my ability to avoid eye contact with the instructor.
Fitness Gadgets Gone Wrong
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I bought a fancy blender that promised to make me healthy smoothies. It's been sitting on my counter for months. It turns out, pressing the buttons is a great workout for my index finger, but not much else.
Fitness Goals and Gravity
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I set a fitness goal to touch my toes. My toes responded with, Why are you coming down here? We're perfectly happy up here, away from the floor and your stretching attempts. I guess my body has goals of its own.
Fashionably Fit
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I tried buying new workout clothes, thinking they would motivate me. Now, I just have expensive athleisure wear for my Netflix marathons. I call it activewear for inactive wear.
Fitness Apps and My Lazy Tendencies
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I downloaded a fitness app to help me stay in shape. The only thing it's lifting is my self-esteem when it congratulates me for reaching 10 steps in a day. Great job, you've burned 2 calories! I'm basically a superhero at this point.
Healthy Eating Dilemmas
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I tried a diet where you only eat things that are green. Lettuce, spinach, broccoli—basically, my meals looked like a forest. I felt like a rabbit trying to be a carnivore, but my stomach disagreed.
Yoga Mishaps
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I attempted yoga to find my inner peace. I discovered my inner peace is a sarcastic voice in my head saying, You call that a downward dog? More like a confused cat.
Gym Partners and Unwanted Motivation
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I got a gym buddy to keep me motivated. They're so energetic; I feel like I'm in a workout video with an overenthusiastic coach. I'm just waiting for them to shout, You can do it! while I struggle to open a bag of chips.
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