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Joke Types
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Why did the Warrior go to therapy? He had too many issues with his aggro-vation!
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Why did the Warrior take a nap during battle? He wanted to hit snooze on the enemy!
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What did the Black Mage say to the Red Mage? 'You're looking a bit 'elementary,' my dear Watson!
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What did the Dragoon say to the dragon? 'You're not the only one who can jump to conclusions!
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What's a Black Mage's favorite type of music? Anything with a good 'fire' beat!
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Why did the Moogle bring a ladder to the fight? Because it wanted to level the playing field!
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I asked the Black Belt why he wears a belt. He said, 'It's the only thing keeping my pants from running away during battle!
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Why did the Bard start a band in Final Fantasy? Because he wanted to cast some musical spells!
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Why did the Cactuar apply for a job? It wanted to make a point in the business world!
Epic Battles, Mundane Chores
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In Final Fantasy, you go from battling colossal monsters to doing mundane chores for NPCs. I just saved your village from impending doom, and now you want me to find your lost cat? I'm a hero, not a pet detective!
Random Encounters in Real Life
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Final Fantasy prepared me for random encounters in the most unexpected places. I'm walking down the street, and suddenly a squirrel pops out of nowhere. I half-expect the battle music to start playing as I reach for my imaginary sword. Squirrel, prepare to be vanquished!
The Potion Economy
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Final Fantasy economies are baffling. I can defeat a mythical creature, but I can't afford a decent weapon? I'm practically a one-man monster-slaying machine, and all I can afford is a rusty sword and a discount health potion. Maybe I should open a potion shop instead.
Epic Hair, Zero Humidity
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Have you seen the hairstyles in Final Fantasy? Characters have gravity-defying hair that would make a supermodel jealous. I want to know their secret because I can't even get my hair to stay in place on a calm day. Is there a hair gel quest I missed?
Save the World, Forget the Side Quests
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You know you're playing Final Fantasy when you're on a mission to save the world, but you get sidetracked by so many side quests that you forget about the impending apocalypse. It's like, Sorry, world. I got caught up collecting chocobo feathers and forgot about that whole impending doom thing.
Final Fantasy Relationships
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Final Fantasy characters have the most complicated love lives. You spend hours trying to build a romantic relationship, and in the end, you get a cutscene with more drama than a soap opera. It's like, Congratulations, you just earned the 'Complicated Relationship' achievement. Now go fight some more monsters and forget about your love life.
The Silent Protagonist Struggle
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Why is it that in Final Fantasy, the main characters hardly ever talk? You're on this grand adventure, saving the world, and your character is as chatty as a mime on a coffee break. It's like, Dude, you just saved the kingdom. The least you could do is say something other than those ellipses.
When in Doubt, Summon a Chicken
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In Final Fantasy, when things get tough, just summon a chicken. Seriously, chocobos are the answer to everything. Need to cross a mountain? Summon a chocobo. Facing a powerful enemy? Summon a chocobo. It's like the game developers thought, When in doubt, add more chickens.
Fantasy Finalities
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You ever notice how in Final Fantasy, the characters are on this epic quest to save the world, but the real challenge is figuring out when to save your game? I spend more time at save points than the characters do fighting monsters. It's like, Hold on, I need a moment to contemplate my life choices before facing the boss.
Final Fantasy Logic
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I love Final Fantasy, but sometimes the logic in the game is questionable. I mean, you defeat a giant fire-breathing dragon, and your reward is a potion. Really? I just took down a dragon, and you're giving me a health potion? How about a dragon-sized pizza or at least a coupon for dragon-slaying lessons?
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