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I've realized that the time I spend in a Final Fantasy game preparing for a battle is roughly the same as the time I spend contemplating whether to hit the snooze button or actually get up in the morning. The struggle is real, folks.
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I was playing Final Fantasy the other day, and my character found a legendary sword. I couldn't help but think, "Why can't life have loot drops? Imagine finding a pair of socks that give you +5 charisma.
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Have you ever noticed that in Final Fantasy, the characters never seem to gain any weight? I mean, they embark on epic quests, battle monsters, and save the world, but they never hit the gym. Sign me up for that diet plan!
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You know you're an adult when you start relating more to the NPCs (non-player characters) in Final Fantasy than the main characters. I mean, they just stand around town, talking about random stuff – basically, they're living the dream.
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Ever notice how Final Fantasy characters always manage to find hidden treasure chests in the most remote locations? Meanwhile, I struggle to find my keys in my own house. Maybe I should equip a key-finding skill.
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The most unrealistic part of Final Fantasy is when the characters find a potion and instantly regain all their health. I don't know about you, but when I find a vitamin C packet, I'm still sniffling three days later.
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I love how in Final Fantasy, characters can carry an absurd amount of items and weapons. Meanwhile, in real life, I can't even juggle two bags of groceries without dropping the eggs. Maybe I need a backpack upgrade.
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The one thing Final Fantasy has taught me is that if you encounter a mysterious, hooded figure offering you a quest, just say no. I tried that once at the mall, and I ended up with a time-share in the swamps of Florida.
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Final Fantasy taught me that in the face of danger, you should always have a backup plan. Because, let's be honest, how many times have you faced a tough boss, and suddenly you wish you spent more time leveling up that healer class?
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