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Joke Types
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Why did the belt get arrested? Because it was holding up a pair of pants!
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Why did the tomato turn to the mushroom for advice? It was in a real saucy situation!
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Why did the family of brooms adopt a dustpan? They wanted to sweep together!
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Why did the scarecrow invite his entire family to the field? Because he wanted to have a 'corny' family reunion!
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Why did the family of tomatoes turn red? Because they saw the salad dressing!
Parental Wisdom
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My parents always told me, Life is a comedy, and you're the punchline. Thanks, Mom and Dad, for setting the bar high. I thought I was the leading man, but apparently, I'm just the comic relief in this family sitcom. Someone get me an agent—I'm ready for my close-up!
Pet Pandemonium
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We got a family pet, and let me tell you, it's like living in a zoo. Our cat thinks it's a ninja, our dog believes it's a philosopher, and the goldfish is just floating along, blissfully unaware of the chaos. I tried to suggest a reality show, but I think Animal Planet is booked.
Grandma's Wisdom
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My grandma is a walking, talking encyclopedia of life advice. She once told me, Laughter is the best medicine, but if that doesn't work, try a cookie. Grandma, your wisdom is sweet, but if laughter fails, I'm pretty sure I'll need more than just a cookie to fix my problems.
Dad Joke Central
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My dad is the undisputed king of dad jokes. I asked him for his secret, and he said, It's all about the delivery. Well, Dad, if the delivery is a mix between eye rolls and groans, then congratulations, you're a stand-up success. I'm just waiting for the day he gets booked for a dad comedy special.
Mom's Kitchen Catastrophes
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My mom is a fantastic cook, but she believes in experimenting. Last week, she tried making a dessert that was a hybrid of a cake and a cactus. Let's just say, it was a prickly situation. I told her, Mom, stick to the recipes, not the succulents.
Family Funny Business
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You know, my family is so funny that I think we missed our calling as a sitcom. I mean, who needs scripted drama when you have Uncle Bob trying to teach the cat to breakdance? We're like the dysfunctional Brady Bunch, but with more pratfalls and fewer sunshine-filled resolutions.
Holiday Havoc
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Holidays in our family are like a comedy of errors. Thanksgiving turns into a food fight, and Christmas gifts are usually re-gifted by New Year's. If only we could monetize our dysfunction, we'd be the wealthiest sitcom in town. Move over, Friends; here comes the Frenzied Family!
Sibling Telepathy
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My siblings and I have this weird telepathic connection. We can communicate entire conversations with just a glance. It's great for secrets, but terrible when one of us accidentally reveals the punchline of a joke before it's delivered. We call it tele-laugh-athy—the art of ruining punchlines without saying a word.
Teenage Texts
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Raising teenagers is like deciphering hieroglyphics. My kid sent me a text with so many emojis; I needed a Rosetta Stone to understand it. I finally figured out it meant, Can I borrow the car? Well, if they put as much effort into their homework as they do into crafting cryptic messages, we'd have a family of geniuses.
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