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Can we discuss the unspoken social contract of the escalator side-eye? You know what I'm talking about - that awkward moment when someone stands right next to you on the escalator. It's like they invaded your personal escalator bubble. You can feel their presence, and you're just side-eyeing them, wondering, "Could you not find your own escalator real estate?" And then there's the internal struggle of whether you should take a step to the side or maintain your ground. It's like escalator warfare - who will emerge victorious in the battle for the most comfortable standing space? I propose we create an "escalator buffer zone" to avoid these unspoken escalator conflicts.
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Can we talk about the unspoken fear of getting your shoelace stuck in an escalator? I swear, every time I step onto one, I suddenly become a contortionist, trying to tie my shoes in the most acrobatic way possible. It's like entering a danger zone, and your shoelaces are the secret agents that could get caught in the machinery. I've seen one too many videos of people's shoes being devoured by escalators on the internet. It's like escalators are these unsuspecting shoe monsters just waiting for the perfect moment to strike. It's a real-life game of "The Floor is Lava," but instead, it's "The Escalator is a Shoe-Eating Monster.
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Have you ever noticed that escalators are like the speed demons of the stationary world? You're on there, minding your own business, and suddenly, there's someone behind you treating the escalator like a race track. It's like they're in the escalator Olympics, going for the gold in the 50-meter ascend. And God forbid you're stuck behind someone who treats the escalator like it's a Sunday stroll in the park. You're there, tapping your feet, secretly considering installing a turbo boost on the escalator to get things moving. I'm just saying, we need an "escalator fast lane" for those of us with places to be.
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You ever notice how escalators try to be all elegant and sophisticated? I mean, they're essentially just stairs that are too lazy to commit to being stairs, right? You're just standing there, and they're like, "Oh, let me carry you up, sir, as if you're some sort of escalator royalty." I'm just waiting for the day an escalator offers me a cup of tea. And don't get me started on the awkwardness when you approach an escalator. Are you supposed to step on it like you're about to conquer Mount Everest, or do you wait for it to invite you on like a polite dance partner? It's this weird social dance where you're not sure who's leading. Maybe there should be an escalator etiquette class - "Escalator 101: Mastering the Art of Ascension.
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